Insecurities

Hey beautiful. How are you? Good, I hope so. I wouldnt want anything to destroy the day of my sweetie pie 🙂

 

Im gonna talk about a touchy subject that we all think about and experience at some point in life. Before that however, I wanna mention how I can to think about this topic.

I wa talking to N, my soulmate, and one thing led to another and she told me something that got me thinking. She told me how she was amazed by the confidence I carried and how it always attracts people attention… men and woman. And it got me thinking… I have to admit I am very confident and constantly radiating this positive energy, I guess, which attracts others but am I really that satisfied with the way I look?
I learned from G-Dragon’s motto when it comes to that: “My confidence is my greatest weapon”.
And he is right, now, my confidence is my weapon.

But then I realised how I also am very insecure with my own body, maybe because everyone seems to like it so much. fucked up, I know…
Maybe it’s the getting closer to the idol life step by step that makes me more consious of the way I could look like instead of being….like this…
And I wanna stop that awful feeling of not being pleased with the way I am by telling the world what I wish I could fix, inprove.
I want my arms to be more slim, I want my waist to be more slim, I want the muscles on my back to be smaller and thinner, I want the extra fat on my tigh to be gone, I want the muscles on my chest to be less and thinner so my collarbones could be more defined…

Im probably my own biggest hater, I just wanna be as good as I can be so that I can inspire others to do the same…

Im also worried.. like what if my exception wakes up and goes “She’s not enough..”. I know he’s perfection but what if he says my thighs are too big, my hips are too big, what if he thinks my boobs are too big, my waist isn’t slim enough… I don’t know…

Don’t get my wrong, he’s not a shallow person but you get what I mean…I hope.

SO, to put a stoop to this annoying thing, I will start off but setting a bar as to what I really feel like I need to change… you know, compromising..
I will make sure to train my arms to begin with and I will keep on eating healthy in hopes that my waist goes a liiiittle slimmer…
I won’t give up on trying to improve myself, but I can now confidently say: my body is my temple, and it’s beautiful.

 

This goes out to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who falls under the expectations of society, mean people and harsh comments: If you dont love the way you are, no one else truely ever will either. Just say: love me like this of walk away. Trust me, you will feel better and they will shut up.

Kim Himchan, this is for you. Starving yourself before photo shoots in order to look better, prettier and slimmer because your fans won’t leave you alone, calling you fat, is not ok. THEY ARE NOT FANS! that’s the thing you seem to forget. no fan would ever ask you to change. That goes for all the boys of B.A.P and THE WHOLE KPOP FAMILY! be yourself and inspire and teach us to do the same. Remember, the ones who cares do not matter, the ones who matter do not care!

 

that’s it for today 🙂

Text me and tell me about your insecurities and let me help you through your battle. 🙂

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Peace is international<3
I fight for you, so you should too~
Fight!