Please save me

I miss home. So much. So much that it makes me cry. I miss home, the sound of my old neighbour yelling at her husband in the morning. I miss the taste of korean coffee with kimchi and rise for breakfast. Most of all, I miss you; Your look, your strong arms hugging me, your eyes full of amazement as you carefully memorise every word that leaves my mouth. I miss the sweet maknae bending his knees to hug me juuust to make fun of my height. I miss the members excitement as I let them touch my hair, as I let them know how well I can cook, as I patiently answer every silly question. I miss your presence. I miss the possibility of you falling for me.

Please save me.

Please save me but be careful I’m like fire.

I’m trying hard, really hard, to be the person you proudly can show off in the future. I want you to be proud of me.

I fight hard but sometimes I can’t help but feel as if this storm won’t ever end.

I try to force myself to give up on the wish of ever being happy yet I cannot help dream about it so terribly much.

Stupid, I know, I need to try harder. I should have gotten used to the reality of my future by now. Not everyone is born to be happy. Some are here for a purpose; some are here for the happiness of others.

And that’s ok.

Yet I cannot stop dreaming about how it would feel.

I heard they say happiness makes you feel complete. They say it makes you all warm inside; alive from top to toe. Some say it feels like eating your favorite ice-cream on a summer day.

Sounds like magic.

O.

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