Being large in a superficial country

Hi baby. How are you?

I’m not so good. I still can’t sleep.. like at all. I’m tired as hell, I just can’t get my brain to shut up. I’m so tired that I feel like crying..

I met up Maja today and we went to You Are Here Café and had a nice and cozy bonding- thingy-kind- of – chat and it was fun and I got to know a lot about her and I like her a lot. She’s funny, and kind, and smart, and pretty and oh such a good friend.

We did our homework during that chit-chat-thingy^^

After that it was food hunting time!

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We were in Hongdae, trying to find a good Mando place 🙂

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Bibimbap and Kimchi Mando for 5000 + 1500 won which is about 50 swedish sek.

I’m listening to Jessie J and her music gives me strength. That woman is a queen! ❤

I’ve started noticing how I’ve grown to dislike my body more and more for each day that passes. Being a fit and muscular person in a country where the only was to be pretty is to fit one type of body size, which is 0, it really tears on your soul. I’ve grown to dislike my biceps and my fit legs. It sucks but they look like errors in my eyes and I wanna stop this feeling yet it grows on me. I got so sick of myself that I got up and worked out extra hard today, to the point of almost throwing up.

Not good, I know but..

Oh I don’t know. Help..

I dislike my body, I miss home, I’m tired and I miss my love. Where are you when I need you right now? When I need you to help me and tell me it’s gonna be alright? Where are you, baby?

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I’m gonna try laying down. I hate everything and everyone today..

XOXO

Ozzy

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6 thoughts on “Being large in a superficial country

  1. Hey, you are beautiful irregardless of where you are, okay? To be honest, I’m going to Seoul soon too and as a girl thats considered chubby in my home country, I’m so worried about shopping there.

    • Hey darling, I hear ya but it’s very difficult to not feel affected by it. As to buying clothes, that’s not as huge of an issue as I thought it would be. I guess I just hate on myself because I don’t my body to become my obstacle to achieve my dream. But don’t worry, it’ll help you out when you get here ❤ ~~

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