i get it- you’re not making me change my mind though

Hi sweetie 🙂

How are you? I’m stuck home and am feeling pretty wrecked but I always have you to talk to , right?

Yupp, the title tells on itself, doesn’t it? Well let me evaluate.

Last sunday me and my mom went to surprise my brother for his birthday in the morning. We go, we knock on his door and he get’s surprised. Haha hihi hoho.
It’s all chat chitting until my brother has to stat commenting on my plans of going to Canada.

Yeah sure, tell me your opinion; I mean of corse, you’re my brother, go ahead. I told you “I understand, I’ll think about it”.

That sentence all by itself should clearly help us leave the topic and move the fuck on but no. I ended up listening to my brother preach about my wrong choice of leaving for 2 hours. 2 HOURS. Are you kidding me?.

Okay so here it is. My brother thinks I am making a mistake by flying to Canada because I should stay in Sweden, get myself an apartment, find a different job and settle down here so we can hang out more, it’ll be easier to see each other and whatnot. I’d give him credit for that argument if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve only seen you twice in these past 6 weeks.

What you talking about; Hanging out more? -.- What the..

My reply was simple: I can do that when I’m older, I would like to explore and actually see the world why I’m young and have the desire to. Plus, Sweden is a boring country. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s boring for someone who’s spent the last year in the flames of Seoul.

It’s very simply math: I have a reason to leave. I don’t have a reason to stay.

His reply: You haven’t seen all parts of Sweden yet. Try here first and then you can travel if you don’t like it.

I raised my right eyebrow and looked him straight in the eye: You turned 37 today, you have been all around Sweden and Sweden only: You don’t seem like you’re having the time of your life.

He legit told me ” yeah I know but maybe you will”.

That. Is. Legit. The. Worst. Argument. Ever.

I am born and raised in this Country, Sweden will always be my Home but come on: Why is it okay for everyone but me to explore and do what no one, NO ONE, in our family has done?

I’m pushing the boundaries and have managed to escape that awful box that everyone seems so incapable of leaving, Why would you wanna put me back in there?

I’m 21 years old. Everyone has tried so hard to change my mind whenever I defy their wishes. Have you not learned that I will do and achieve whatever I set my mind into?

Has anyone ever managed changing my mind? No. So please stop trying.

Fast forward to like 8 hours later; I dropped a 8 kg dumbbell on my thigh. I’m about to piss myself out of anger. I never seem to fucking learn to be careful.

Im gonna take my painkillers now.

Goodnight darling. I’ll talk to ya soon. ❤




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