Today I put aside everything, EVERYTHING, and spent my day with Maja.
Regardless of how shitty I was or how much pain I have been through, I chose to put it all aside and give her a smile.
Today she turned 21 years and I didn’t want her to spend it alone at home sooo.. I took her out for an early dinner and then topped it off with a movie 🙂
I took her to enjoy some Texas Longhorn Burgers and after that, we watched The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials. It was awesome and she seemed pretty happy at the end of the day so I think I did a pretty good job.
Tomorrow is sunday and I have no plans yet but I think am gonna try to do a new choreography or two, so I can start recording them again. I’ve missed that.
How am I?
I feel like someone has turned the lights off in my life and I am having a hard time finding the switch to turn it back on. I feel like I’m glitching and it’s almost as if I boxed inside a glasbox and the key is on the other side. my colours seem to be stuck in grey and it sometimes feels like I’m living while I’m dying.. do you know what I mean?
I don’t know what to do but I would really like be happy… for once… someday.
I had a friend once that said “Ozzy, I know you’ve had a very tough and shitty past and life has been unkind to you but at the end of the storm, there will be a rainbow for you”.
It feels like I’m stuck in this monsoon, like this storm is never gonna end.
Life.Love. Family.trust.Loyalty. Happiness.
Never seem to work out for me, huh?
The air feels like sand in my lungs and the nightmares are getting worse, also. I hate nightmares.
I hate them so bad.
I’m blabbering, aren’t I? I’m sorry. I’m just really tired of all of this.
I’m gonna try to read a book or something.. I don’t know.
Let me know how your weekend was, will you?
I’ve missed your texts. ❤