Two sides and one bullet…

…who do you protect?

How can you demand me to choose? How can you be so cruel yet ask for such mercy in return?

What tears me besides the fact that I’m stuck in a position where I either choose to shoot myself or the person in front of me, is the fact that the person in front of me forced the gun into my hand, demanding a choice to be made, twice now.

Now, I’m not talking about a real gun here but rather a figurative one. A choice where I have to do some thing for someone else and in return possibly end up in the same position myself soon enough, Or I can choose to not help the person in front of me and let live do it’s job.

Money.

That’s what the gun is. The person in front of me is asking for a very large amount of money, an amount which I will need within a few months myself. Now what do you do? Do you get the loan only to hand it over in hopes that the person will eventually pay it back? Or do you say no so you can take the loan for the house you promised yourself you would buy? Who do you chose to protect? HOW do you choose?

One side of me wants to help the person in front of me because that’s what Kal-El and Captain America would have done. Yet the other side of me sees nothing but the flashbacks of a time when I told that person about almost getting raped and that person not believing me. Or the time when that person looked me straight in the eye and told me I would amount to nothing.  How can you be so cruel yet ask for such mercy in return? Do you not know my dead heart and my non-existent soul? Do you not know that your apathetic affection has torn my peace? Do you not know that you are one of the main reasons I recoil from people?

Now I can’t say these things to your face for voicing truths that has been neglected is no more that childish in your eyes. You see no maturity nor any bravery within it. Why should you? The truth rolling off my tongue would be no less than a slap across your face as it would be a pat on the back of my honesty.

What makes you so important? What makes you more important than me?

XOXO
Ozzy

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