Ive been rather bus trying to make my body get used to fasting and only eating at night. It’s been going well so far but I missed the time last night and was unable to get up to eat for Sahur (our last meal before the sun rises). Being stubborn as I am, I decided to fast today anyways. Not a smart decision. I was dizzy, nauseous and in pain from the moment I get up. Half way through the day I almost fainted and decided to break my fasting and ate.
The Quran (kuran-i Kerim) clearly states that if one is suffering during one’s fasting and is unable to bare it, one may eat and fast that day after ramadan. If one however simply decides to give up for selfish reasons, one must fast 61 days for every day they break.
By selfish reasons, it means for example not caring, giving up, wanting to skip it for an occasion etc.
At the end of the day, what matters is your intentions and motives.
Choosing to eat, Ive spent the entire day feeling hatred towards my body for not being stronger and being disappointed by myself because I couldn’t finish my fasting. I started this year’s Ramadan fasting with the goal of having 0 days in “debt” to fast. The fast that I failed that mission makes me hate myself.
Thinking that my mother would understand and encourage me to do better next time, I received nothing but a disappointed look and a sigh after being asked “did yoy break your fast on purpose?”
I didnt expect that. Thinking that she would be proud that I tried my best and prioritised my health, her cold reply made my eyes water and my anger boil.
Concealer by ARITAUM (my favourite one), first treatment essence by S Clinic and pocket bunny mist in Sleek and in Moist ( for different seasons).
I have ordered some more and will make sure to post them as soon as they arrive.
I still feel uncomfortable and some pain so Im gonna lay down.