New tatt

Hi baby!

I got a New tattoo done last Friday. It was painful but a more so powerful moment for me. 

2.5 years of waiting and I now have lucifer on my neck, reminding me to never fall for his games. And to never let others mistake me for anything but what I am; brutal and cruel yet also fair and loyal.

[Never forget the evil that lies within you rather than the one waiting for you below your feet. Never forget it so that you may never follow it’s wishes]

And here is the finished work.

It took a total of 5 hours and lots of grunting and shaking in pain. I did not cry and fought through it. Big thanks to Kevin from Ant Tattoo who made it so fucking dope. You can find him on insta at @kewinoart 

I definitely recommend that you check that place out; they are one of the most crazy and welcoming tattoo artists I have ever met. 




Computer still not cooperating

Hi baby!

How are you? My computer is still not cooperating with me -.-

The weather is shitty but I like it, how is it over there? I’m trying to keep my energy up so I can practice for those tests I mentioned earlier but they really are boring. Aa if that wasnt enough, I had some intense back pain these last couple of days so I stayed away from the gym until I subdued. I.REALLY.WANNA.GO.TO.THE.GYM.

On a different note, I’m wearing the shirt Nessie got me from Turkey

It says “Females are strong as well”


Apparently we have to move out asap because the guy who rented it to us wants it back… so no more stalling; we need to find a place that we are happy with and buy it. -.-

Im gonna go watch The Dark Tower today, btw. Have you seen it yet? I cant wait! Idris Elba😍


Blood donation

Hi baby!

I donated blood for the second time ever today~

I am very proud of myself for doing it and will keeo doing so until I am too old to. In Sweden, Only 2% of the population donated blood :/

If you are physically able to and want to make a small difference, please donate blood; it could save someones life.
I ordered a bunch of korean skincare masks and a new bottle of setting spray and they arrived today

If you have oily skin, I highly recommended the Etude House Skin Note Pore Tightening mask. I have never tried the innisfree ones so I cant say much about them yet. 

Ps. I order all of my skincare from ebay: same product, no shioping fee~~^^



My computer is having a moment

Hi baby!

Im so sorry for my absence. I have been stubbornly trying to post through my computer but it is refusing to cooperate so I have been unable to post anything. Enough is enough and I am now back on my phone. 

I have a lot on my plate lately. I decided to help my dad, for some unknown reason, with a few of his business issues which will be solved if I start an identical company an move over all of our assets from the current company to the new one. Sooo, I have to take a few tests to get some sort of permission to open a new company, 7 tests to be exact. I have also, aside from all this, started choreographing again. 

So besides my own work, gym and dance, I now have two other business issues on my plate.

Maja, a friend, told me she has booked tickets to korea for a month in oktober with a friend, and she ofcourse told me AFTERWARDS, adding a “you should totally join us”. Sure, let me join you when you have already booked everything and made plans…again. she did the same thing last year. But nontheless, I have friends in Korea that I miss so I decided to join them for the last two weeks (I have tickets to Rolling Stones on the 12th of oktober and I cant miss that) . I hope it turns out to be fun though… I’ll be hella mad if they leave me out, seeing as I am staying at a different place and all. 

Who knows, I can still cancel all the bookings, so no promises made yet. I just dont wanna fly all the way there just to be bored…

Oh well.


Pre vacay todo-lists

Hi baby!

How was your day? Tomorrow is midsummer’s day in Sweden so I’m off work. Our teamleader for our department is on vacation so I have taken her place until she comes back. 

Im on my way home now, finally.

The ramazan celebrations begin on Sunday so I have to remember to repaint my nails, dress up and go visit the elders. Mom is gonna make lasagne so Im hella excited. I only eat my mom’s lasagne because no one else can even get close to hers. 

On another note, summer vacation is around the corner and I still haven’t bought everything I need…like sunscreen, a proper bikini set and an everyday bag. Because I always use my gym back, I don’t own regular every day bags for shit that doesn’t involve the gym. 😀 

Oh and I forgot to tell you yesterday; I can donate blood in August again so I can do my lucifer tattoo and my wonderwoman tattoo after that. 

Do you enjoy korean dramas? I just finished watching She Was Pretty from 2015 and oh my god was is not adorable and so so sweet. And ofcorse, the male lead actor had to be handsome to the point of no return.^^

You should watch it if you haven’t, sweetie ~~!

Oh and have you checked out Monsta X’s comeback song, shine forever? It was such a good song and the music video was even more so. I dont understand why they don’t distribute the lyrics more fairly but.. oh well.

Then again, BTS’ lyrics are almost never fairly distributed either, which is odd seeing as they ALL have powerful and beautiful voices.. :/



Comparing yourself- dont do it.

Hi baby!

Today was a super chill day. I mostly rested and wrote some on my new story. 

Its midnight at the moment and I caught my reflection in the window

I have been disliking the way my body has been looking lately. The reason for that is because: I ususally look up a lot of fitness accounts on Instagram for workout tips but as time went by, instead of being insprited, I started comparing myself with these mega-fit-no-ounce-of-fat-body women… almost to the point where all I saw waa what was “wrong” with my body instead of what was “good”. Instead of appreciating my strength and my muscular thighs, all I saw was the lack of abs, my not so defined biceps and still giggly inner thighs… and I started to hate it. Even though I’m not “cured” yet (because hating on my body which I dedicated sweat and pain to build feels like a sickness) I was very proud of what I caught sight of in the window. 

This is just a temporary sickness, I still am very proud of my body. I just need to learn to not compare myself to the fitness people I fallow. 

Anyways, how was your saturday, my cupcake? I really hope you got some rest and remembered to eat well. You know I hate it when you ignore your health. 

Sleep tight, sweetiepie. 



Unplaned Haitus

Hi baby!


How are you? Me? don’t even ask, to be honest.
Alot of shit went down last week, a huge decision to make was dumped in my lap and it messed with my head big time.
Long story short; I had to choose whether to help someone else and put myself in the same position or to not help the other person but….
Because I was left to decide what the fuck to do, I was unable to sleep, unable to focus at work and it messed with my appetite.
The fact that I even had to make a decision as such… was shit.

I’m hoping for a better week this week.

I had on black lipstick on yesterday for the first day and I was kind of living for it



On less negative news, I have now booked my summer vacation with my mom. We’re going home ^^. Turkey, Antalya to be specific. We have booked place at a beautiful Spa resort called Porto Bello Hotel. 5 stars and all inclusive babyy!

I took 2 weeks off but the vacay with momma is only 1 days ish so I might have some time and cash left to take a weekend vacay somewhere quick.

speaking of which… I miss Korea..


Fitness Update:

I am the strongest I have ever been at the moment. I squat 90 kgs. I have one week left before my birthday so next week saturday is my due date to hit 100 kgs
I will fucking make it happen!

I have actually decided to not go to the bootcamp. There’s 2 weeks left of the bootcamp however because I have a one hour travel distance…I end up hating the idea of working out. Because I don’t wanna end of disliking working out, I have chosen to go back to just going to the gym 6 times a week instead. Doing what I love, you know.




This week was eh.

Hi my lovey dovey.

How was your week? I still have tomorrow’s poledancing to look forward to so it will hopefully not end as shitty as last week did. 

I wrote a new story; check it out: 

I am working on a new story that is based on Ben Affleck the new Batman.I have a good feel about this one. 

I gotta go and wash off my makeup, one moment

Aaaand I look like Im 12 hahahahha.

I signed up for Bootcamp which starts on the 21st of February. It’s every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday evening for 6 weeks. This is the Website

She it’s apparently very strict, has rules and set guidelines. Im up for the challenge and Ive heard she is really good so let’s do this :D💪💪

My birthday is coming up soon… I’m not hyped about it though:/ don’t know why but it doesn’t feel particularly special to me. Hahah im so dead inside.😂😂

If my father asks what I wish for Im planning on asking if they can all get together and get me a new nice guitar. I miss playing and making music. If mom and the siblings ask me what I want I think I’ll go for a Unicef hoodie. I really want one and a large amount of the money goes to charity. 

When is your birthday, love?


Off to work

Hi darling. How was your sleep? I got about 30 minutes of rest so I’m okay 🙂

This is how today’s makeup turned out. Pretty okay haha^^

Im not very excited about dealing with all those 89 emails waiting for me but I’m gonna feel hella proud when I’ve answered them all hihi^^

Stay strong and work hard. It’s just another day. Plug in your earphones and listen to music that makes you strong and makes you say “you know what,fuck you”. For me that’s bigbang songs, korean hiphop and 2ne1 songs. BTS- no more dreams is good too and B.A.P – no mercy is good. Bruno Mars – 24K is dope too 🙂


This week really did fly by

Hi, baby!

How has your week been, darling? Did you get a lot of things done? I sure did. 🙂

For starters, I colored my hair black ^^



It’s blueblack, to be exact ^^

I grew tired of seeing the same hair in the mirror every day sooo now it’s black.

I like it, it kind of matches my dead soul… and my naturally black eyebrows 🙂

Do you like it?

I do 🙂


Let me just take a moment to love my killer eyeliner today




On a completely different note;

I was having some issues with a fuckboy who was refusing to leave me the fuck alone, finally I think I got rid of him. We met at a bar in September and the fool acted all nice and sweet, called me and texted almost every day. He invited me over on a sunday, I went and the hoe was asleep and therefore didn’t meet me up. I didn’t wait ofcourse since I was already by the station.
Going on, he was as shady as anyone could ever be, only asking to hang out at night with beer involved. The bitch is 23 years old yet he was behaving like a 16 years old kid that thinks with nothing but his penis.
The funniest part? After he had the nerve to ask me “Do you wanna come over on thursday? I wanna have sex” I flipped. I told him to grow the fuck up, to go to hell, to get a life. You know what he does? He sends a photo of his crotch saying: “Tempted?”

“No, ain’t nobody wanting your rusty ass dick. This is why you single.” Is what I replied. His snap back was ” How do you know it’s rusty? You’ve never seen it”. My reply to that? “I wear heels longer that your 2 mm microdick, grow up”. He’s so dumb that he replied “it’s not 2mm at all, it’s big”. Hahahahaha.

So on and so forth, he finally said ” wanna go out tonight?” today and I flipped again.

“Don’t you have any self respect? Any value at all? I keep telling you to leave me alone and to grow the fuck up. Dont you see? I will never take anything you say seriously and you will always be nothing but a pathetic 20something years old fuckboy who has no game and no selfvalue. You are nothing but an adult kid who hasnt learned to grow up. So do yourself and your tiny bit of pride a favour and stop humiliating yourself further.”

Upon that, the fool blocked me hahahahah

So that god for that.

I am growing really tired of people confessing their feelings towards me and then doing nothing to act on it.

I had a friend, a very old friend, who has a girlfriend btw, tell me he likes me alot and has feelings for me. So I tell him to leave his girlfriend if he’s gonna keep on flirting with me and he acts like a tiny little puppy running back into her lap. He doesn’t even love or trust her but once  a bullshitter, always a bullshitter.

I actually thought I might be wrong about him, That maybe i could be able to trust his words.
Jokes on him, I was right again.

A tiny bit of advice to everyone thinking about confessing: Dont speak shit if you’re not gonna be grow up enough to stand behind your words and act upon them.


Just dont.

Coming from a heartless evil person who gives no shit about your pain when I tell you to fuck off, don’t give me the idea that I could maybe trust you if you’re not gonna value that trust. I could see your eyeballs being ripped apart and not flinch.


Enough about trash.


It’s already friday 😀


Any plans, baby?