Hope your weekend went well. Mine was eventless and calm which was very much appreciated. I spent most of it planning the upcoming week’s study schedule so I don’t fall behind on that. It makes the exams a lot easier when I remain on top of all the study material.
This first period (Jan-March) I’m going a master course on social problems regarding kids and youth along side a master course on organisation and leadership. I’ve also for some unknown reason decided to start learning AWS cloud computing as if what I had on my plate wasn’t enough.
During the second period (March-May) I’ll be doing a master course on alcohol and narcotics along side a master course on evidence baser social work. That’s gonna be fun!
Here’s a song to help you along the week and to help you heal. It helps me. ^^
My favourite part of the lyrics is this bit:
“On days I hate being myself, days I want to disappear forever Let’s make a door in your heart Open the door and this place will await It’s okay to believe, the Magic Shop will comfort you
While drinking a glass of hot tea And looking up at the Milky Way You’ll be alright, oh, this here is the Magic Shop”
Today is quite cold in Sweden! How is it where you are? I remember you mentioning you liked hot chocolate, if you were here we could snuggle up on the sofa with hot chocolate^^ Did you like mini marshmallows? I don’t remember if you like it or not…
This is what I imagine is sipping on if you were here now
A hot chocolate like that can only and only be accompanied with a movie. How about The Greatest Showman? Or maybe Coco?
Today has been filled with dissertation writing and soon I’ll be off to look at a new potential place. We are aiming to move out before the end of the year so we thought we’d slowly start looking at new places.
We’re also slowly looking into our honeymoon planning. We never went on one when we got married because we both had to focus on work, so it was postponed a year. We’ve already booked the plane tickets and hotels, so no it’s activities left to book. We’re going to Seoul for a week, Tokyo for 3 days and Osaka for 3 days. We might visit Kyoto in between Tokyo and Osaka but that’s not fully set yet.
You know me, I’m mostly excited about Seoul! I haven’t been back there since like 6 years now. I miss it. It’s just as much home to me as Sweden is, if not more.
Oh also, I’ve started on two new fiction stories, I’ll share them here with you when they’re done. 🙂
Enjoy this song while you’re here. It’s a cover made by two of the actors from the LITA series I mentioned last time. Such talent these guys have! They can act, sing, dance and so much more.
It’s been a while, I know. I meant to share all the things that happened throughout the year with you yet I couldn’t bring myself to do so. Somehow, sharing it with you made it all real, and I didn’t want it to be. Or… I don’t think I care if it happens or not, I’m just shocked it did happen… it that makes sense?
Regardless, here we are and I can no longer not share these things will you.
What’s happened over the last few months? I got married, I lost contact will most of my family in the process due to disagreements in my choice of partner (or his ethnicity, I should say). The choice to drop contact was mine though, I think if I didn’t cut ties, they probably wouldn’t but I have come to realise that trying to keep them in my life threatens my peace and mental health. So I made a choice and I stand behind it.
The wedding was nice and lowkey, not low key enough it you ask me, but everyone enjoyed it so I’m satisfied with the outcome.
I’ll try to share some photos in the future, I don’t have them online but I’ll take some photos of our album ^^
What else has happened? Around fall, i slowly felt a de-personalization creeping up on me. It was almost like I no longer knew who I was, what I wanted out of life and if I really wanted all the things I want. Who am I even? Do I really wanna be the person I am? Do I want the life I dream of? Who is this person in the mirror? It almost felt like I lost the voice inside my head and it made me feel lost. Inner chaos, I call it. My friends reason with it as being an aftermath of everything that has happened throughout the year but I don’t know. Maybe. What do you think my love?
I haven’t been able to quite solve it but I am trying to heal step by step. You know I’ve always heeled with music and this time around it helped me once again. I found some new artists and songs with lyrics that made me feel a bit more grounded… or heard, I should say.
This is two of the songs I’ve had on repeat for months now.
I hadn’t heard of Jeff Satur before and this song hit me like a truck.
Something else that has helped me that I highly recommend for you too is getting back in touch with out hobbies that I’ve forgotten about. I used to read a lot, write novels and fiction, paint, play guitar and dance but I noticed as I grew older I somehow left those things in the past. So I’m trying to bring that back now.
Something else that has helped me heal that I didn’t realise it was going to? I found a thai series that ended up being my anchor and savour. I think see the couple in that series love each other the way I wish to be loved and understood helped me in a way. Almost like I filled me cup by seeing them fill each others cups if that makes sense? Haha it sounds weird when I say it out loud like this but I think you know what I mean.
If you ever wanna give it a chance, the series is called Love In The Air.
Moving on, The new year has now began and it has already hit me with it’s new obstacles. The first one being to start looking for a job in time for finishing university. I’m hopeful though.
I’m off to apply to some new jobs, I’ll try my very very best to keep you updated more often.
It’s February already. time is running by so fast.
The wedding date is slowly closing in and we are step by step finishing all the planning as the days go by. My internship has started and did so with a bang. I am slowly getting a grasp of things but there’s a lot to learn.
I know you’re not a huge fan like I am but I just need to show you the new shoes I ordered and that came today:
I’ll probably not keep the white and gold one to the right but the other two: I’m in love. I’m gonna try them on after my work today. I really hope the one far to the left fits, I’m in love with that one in particular.
Off to pressing news: Todrick Hall as dropped a new album: Gayme Over!
Stop what you’re doing, go to Youtube or Spotify and listen to it! I highly recommend the song called 69 and Rich Forever, they’re one of my favourites.
I’m gonna, as usual, start off by saying sorry for being away a ridiculous amount of time. My goal was to get back to writing to you regularly but the end of summer 2021 hit me like a truck in the best way possible and I’ve been busy non-stop since then.
At the end of august, me and my mr went on holiday to Alanya in Turkey. The resort itself sucked and didn’t deserve the 5 stars on their wall. The trip ended in the most wonderful way though: We got engaged!!
We are planning the wedding for June 2022 and have already booked a photographer, the ceremony at City Hall and the location for the reception. The invitations are out and the rsvps are dropping in one by one. Due to the new wave of covid-19 with the omnicron variant, we’re trying to make the plans fit the restrictions in place.
There’s a lot left to plan but the pieces are starting to fall in it’s places.
Uni has been a storm of tasks, I have my last exam next week Tuesday after that I only have my field study and bachelor’s thesis. I am super excited about my field study and hoping it goes well.
I’m gonna go and prep for the exam, I’m really gonna try to not disappear again.
How are you today? My brian is so fried that I can barely spell properly. I have massive headache and my back hurts. I’ve been sitting infront of the laptop working in the exam since 8 am today.
Started off the day with turkish coffee and snacks after a quick breakfast. Turkish coffee is always the way to go ^^ ❤
I am done for the day and gonna finish the rest tomorrow. The exam is due tomorrow midnight so I hope to finish it by then.
Also, I’ve gotten my latest stuff from Just Strong!
Super comfy, affordable training clothes. Their original design tights are squat-proof if you are looking for a pair! I always wear them on legdays!
When making you purchase, don’t forget to use discount code OZZYSONM10 for 10% off!
How are you? Has it started snowing over there yet? Over here? Nope, not yet. It snowed for like an hour a week or so ago but after that, nothing.
Like the title says, I have four days until the last exam of the year. the course I’m doing now is not the last course of the year though. The last course of the year starts December 2nd but the exam for that course is on January 12th so this is technically the last exam of the year hahah ^^
Not much is new this week besides that. Oh, it dawned on me today that this year won’t be much of a Christmas/new years eve celebration as usual. Not only due to Miss rona (covid) but also due to the fact that we’re moving a few days after the new years eve. That means we’re gonna have boxes and whatnot laying around everywhere. It’s okay, I mean it’s not the end of the world, but still.
How have you been? For me? It’s been quite hectic to say the least. University started again at the end of august and has been a stress-filled race since! After having done two months of law and now wellfare state history, my brain is all mushy. This course ends first of december followed by the course “wellfare state economics” which is gonna be even worse. More people that give up on this program, do so due to the wellfare state courses apparently. They are very hectic, badly planned and difficult. Working 60% and going to university full time is exhausting but I’ve managed to make it work so far. Let’s hope for the best ^^
Guess what’s happening by the end of the year? I am moving!!! Me and my SO have finally found a good apartment to move in to. If you know anything about the Stockholm housing system, you’ll know it’s really difficult to find an apartment, let a lone a larger one. But we searched and dug and finally found one for us.
What kind of apartment are we moving in to? A 3 bedroom(4 room apartment, we call it in Sweden) in Nacka. It’s newly built on top of the hill and Nacka is a really good place to live. It’s nice and quiet and decently close to the city central.
It’s gonna be nice so finally move back to a larger apartment since we live in a one bedroom apartment now. There’s of course nothing wrong with that, if it’s a roof over your head and you can lock the door it’s good enough but I also understand that it’s nice to upgrade if it’s possible.
I’m very excited to have a proper study/work room and a guest bedroom to say nonetheless. It’d make my life a lot easier and I won’t have to work and study on the dinner table in the kitchen.
I’ll make sure to show you lots of photos both before and after I’ve moved in^^
The crown: If you know me well enough, you’ll know that my favourite group of all times is BIGBANG. I started listening to them around the end of 2010 and have been a proud follower and fan since then. Their music has helped me through a lot of hardships and obstacles I know I wouldn’t be able to survive without their music. In 2006, when they debuted, their logo was a yellow crown with 5 points, one for each member. The logo has changed throughout time but the original logo will forever be the official one to me.
The paw: I have a thing for animals, I prefer animals over people and if I had the power to choose I would have wiped mankind of this planet to let animals have their planet back. We’ve done nothing but torture and hurt them With that being said, I love animals and would give my life up for the them in a heartbeat. I do, however, feel a particularly strong connection to specific types of animals more than others. The strongest connection I feel is for dragons but that’s a connection beyond description. Besides dragons though, I feel this huge pull for elephants, lions and wolves.
Wolves have one of the strongest connections to their pack, they’re very loyal and protective but also very aggressive towards outsides. During the rise of the Turkish army after it went from being the ottoman empire to the Turkish empire under the rein Ataturk, the enemies would call us the Turkish wolves or the grey/dark wolves. There’s a documented interview with Hitler and they ask him why he hasn’t considered invading Turkey and as he replies, he refers to the Turkish army as the Turkish wolves and explains that he would never consider that possibility because he knows that even if one Turk survives that one Turk will raise a whole army again. As long as one wolf survives, the pack will find a way to rise back up.
To remember that I am a part of my ancestors and I am the grandchild of Fatih Sultan Mehmet, the greatest leader we’ve ever had, I choose to get this tattoo and to put it somewhere I can see it and let it guide me. As we Turks say: Ne mutlu turkum diyene (The greatest happiness is to be able to say I’m turkish).
I’m eventually gonna make a sleeve on my lower left arm with Fatih Sultan Mehmets signature stamp, the Ottoman flag alongside the Turkish flag together with the year 1453 underneath. That’s why I chose to get the paw on my left and instead; so that it kind of goes together as a whole set.
With that being said, I love animals and would give my life up for the them in a heartbeat. I do, however, feel a particularly strong connection to specific types of animals more than others. The strongest connection I feel is for dragons but that’s a connection beyond description. Besides dragons though, I feel this huge pull for elephants, lions and wolves.
Our Mutual Distance 