Pre vacay todo-lists

Hi baby!

How was your day? Tomorrow is midsummer’s day in Sweden so I’m off work. Our teamleader for our department is on vacation so I have taken her place until she comes back. 

Im on my way home now, finally.

The ramazan celebrations begin on Sunday so I have to remember to repaint my nails, dress up and go visit the elders. Mom is gonna make lasagne so Im hella excited. I only eat my mom’s lasagne because no one else can even get close to hers. 

On another note, summer vacation is around the corner and I still haven’t bought everything I need…like sunscreen, a proper bikini set and an everyday bag. Because I always use my gym back, I don’t own regular every day bags for shit that doesn’t involve the gym. 😀 

Oh and I forgot to tell you yesterday; I can donate blood in August again so I can do my lucifer tattoo and my wonderwoman tattoo after that. 

Do you enjoy korean dramas? I just finished watching She Was Pretty from 2015 and oh my god was is not adorable and so so sweet. And ofcorse, the male lead actor had to be handsome to the point of no return.^^

You should watch it if you haven’t, sweetie ~~!

Oh and have you checked out Monsta X’s comeback song, shine forever? It was such a good song and the music video was even more so. I dont understand why they don’t distribute the lyrics more fairly but.. oh well.

Then again, BTS’ lyrics are almost never fairly distributed either, which is odd seeing as they ALL have powerful and beautiful voices.. :/



Back on my feet

Hi baby!

Ive been gone, mourning my loss and trying to stay strong in order to keep fasting. There’s only 3 days left and I am feeling a little less like the world is empty.

I have been trying my best to work out during ramadan and have been cutting during that period. I have gone from 65 kg to 62.5 kg and kept my muscles. I am hella ready to get back to working be like a horse until I can’t walk. 

I am on my way to work now, the weather’s kinda nice but it’ll most probably rain later in the afternoon.

How have you been, cupcake? Good? Have you eaten well?

I received ny newly placed order with bcaa energy drinks, bcaa and protein products yesterday. Im gonna bring my whey and casein to the vacation as well. 

You know me, there ain’t no rest for the wicked. ^^


Ramadan day 15

Hi love!

Im sorry for my continuous absence. Training while fasting is difficult and rather exhausting. As a cherry on top, I have spent the last week worried shitless for T.O.P and his health, praying for him and begging god to give me his pain. I would willingly suffer for him so he can rest. 

Just as I got the news that his health was on it’s way of improving, my uncle, the oldest one in the family, died. We lost him Thursday evening, and I have been unable to share my pain until now. He was like a grandpa to us all, you see; loved by everyone. We don’t know his exact age but he was around 70. The only thing soothing our painful loss is knowing that he is no longer suffering, he is no longer in pain and can rest in peace. Nothing will ever be the same and him being gone still feels surreal. 

Allah sevdiği kullarını erken alırmış. Huzur içinde yat, Osman Amcam benim.  ❤

And thank you god, for hearing our prayers and not taking T.OP from us yet. Thank you, lord. He has so much more to live, see and experience. Thank you, god. 



Two sides and one bullet…

…who do you protect?

How can you demand me to choose? How can you be so cruel yet ask for such mercy in return?

What tears me besides the fact that I’m stuck in a position where I either choose to shoot myself or the person in front of me, is the fact that the person in front of me forced the gun into my hand, demanding a choice to be made, twice now.

Now, I’m not talking about a real gun here but rather a figurative one. A choice where I have to do some thing for someone else and in return possibly end up in the same position myself soon enough, Or I can choose to not help the person in front of me and let live do it’s job.


That’s what the gun is. The person in front of me is asking for a very large amount of money, an amount which I will need within a few months myself. Now what do you do? Do you get the loan only to hand it over in hopes that the person will eventually pay it back? Or do you say no so you can take the loan for the house you promised yourself you would buy? Who do you chose to protect? HOW do you choose?

One side of me wants to help the person in front of me because that’s what Kal-El and Captain America would have done. Yet the other side of me sees nothing but the flashbacks of a time when I told that person about almost getting raped and that person not believing me. Or the time when that person looked me straight in the eye and told me I would amount to nothing.  How can you be so cruel yet ask for such mercy in return? Do you not know my dead heart and my non-existent soul? Do you not know that your apathetic affection has torn my peace? Do you not know that you are one of the main reasons I recoil from people?

Now I can’t say these things to your face for voicing truths that has been neglected is no more that childish in your eyes. You see no maturity nor any bravery within it. Why should you? The truth rolling off my tongue would be no less than a slap across your face as it would be a pat on the back of my honesty.

What makes you so important? What makes you more important than me?


Being away

Hi baby!

Im again very sorry for my recent absence; alooot happened. One of them is the rather horrible terror attack that took place here in Sweden which ended with 4 people dying and many more severely injured. The security has been stepped up but Im unfortunately sure it will happen again. This was just a warning. 

On less terrible news, me and my mom havr officially started looking for an apartment to buy and me and Nessie wi begin out YouTube journey soon. 

As a birthday gift, which I need to share, my friend got me the miniature if The Joker

Not my favourite Joker but Joker is my favourite so it still made my day^^❤
Aaaand here is some makeup that has arrived from Korea

Skin Food Peach Sake Finish Powder

Smells awesome and has a lot if stuff in it to add minerals to the skin^^

Tony Moly BCdation foundation cushion

I bought it in a shade darker than my regular  tone so that I can use it after my summer vacation~ The fact that it’s no more than 10000 won is awesome^^


After watching Edward Avilas video, I decided to grab the bull by the horns and buy the Pony Effect skin fit powder pact~~

I hav only used it once so far but it makes a huge difference! The skin gets velvety smooth finish and my oily skin stays under control the entiiiiire day ( I keep my makeup on from 7 am to at least 10 p.m).


Anastasia BH and Etude House

Hi baby!

Remember when I said that I ordered some makeup from South Korea…One of the items arrived this friday.

I present to you the Etude House Personal Eye Palette in Warm Tones



The pigmentation is REAL. I love it. The colours are not as creamy as the Too faced Sweet Peach palette but they are very easy to blend in, very easy to mix and match and to build up.


AAAALSO… I finally picked up the Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance eye palette



I am shoooook! I thought I knew pigmentation but no ma’am. This shook me back to life!!

I can not waaait to try on some new looks with these! ^^





Kat Von D – Too Faced collaboration

Hi baby!

Here comes the Better Together Collection ^^


I’m letting you ahead of time; Non of the photos in this post will be edited or airbrushed so you can see all the colors and shades as they actually are. 🙂


I chose to buy these two collab kits plus the kat Von D lock-it Powder because I ran out of setting powder and I have been wanting to try this one. Because I bought two items I got the Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer as a gift (at Sephora)


They launched three packages; these two and one where you got the Better Than Sex mascara from Too Faced and the Tattoo Liner from Kat Von D. I didn’t buy the third one because I knew the same mascara and liner came with the box of the eye palette anyways.

You can find all three packages Here

First up is the Cheek and Lip Make Up Bag


In this adorable bag, apart from the cute as fuck bag, you get a blush and a highlighter from Too Faced plus two lipsticks from Kat Von D


That banana/strawberry mixed highlighter is a very simple and discrete.  Love it!
Those lipsticks are giving me liiiife!


Next up is the Better Together Ultimate Eye Collection




Apart from the palette, The box includes a Tatto Liner in Tooper and the Better Than Sex mascara which I have not tested yet. My cheap ass is waiting for the mascara I’m using at the moment to run out before I put my  hands on that one hahah


The shade Darling ( Kat Von D side) is slaying me, to be honest.

They are all very pigmented and very creamy. Easy to work with and mix and match from both sides.

Apart from these two collections I also got the Kat Von D Lock-It Setting Powder

I have been using this these past two days and I am loving it. The powder has a slight banana colored undertone to it which prevents the whitecast from happening. Love it 🙂



Bottom Line, I love it.


I  ordered some new makeup from Korea which is on it’s way. I’ll make sure to post them as soon as they get into my possession.


Enjoy your monday baby, I’m here for you whenever you need me.


Oh, I’m starting a new storyline, Btw. This one is gonna be long, at least 5 parts planned so far.




Daddy is Serving!

Hi baby!

let me introduce Daddy John to you ^^



My boy is Serving looks  today!!

Don’t know what kind of plans daddy has for today but I think we can all agree daddy should make plans as such every day ^^


The images of the makeup will be up in a moment, I haven’t forgotten 🙂