Hi baby!

Im so sorry for my absence being this long. I have honestly been meaning to update you for a while now but something always got in the way.

I did mean to update you yesterday but once I sat down infront of my computer I realised how exhausted I was. Therefore, Im updating you now instead.

Not alot of changes has happened; I’m still working two jobs and all that.

We celebrated my sister’s birthday yesterday which turned out pretty okay. I dont know we celebrated it a month ahead since her birthday is in june but my dads wife was the one to pick the date and not alot of her actions make sense so…

Anyways, I made the cupcakes for the party

We had a pink and white theme so I made the frosting pink and the sugar roses white^^

Moving on, I have been feeling quite stuck in my pole fitness development; everything but one trick is mastered and so I emailed the studio and asked for advice, wondering if it is possible to move up a level but also take the focus classes that focuses on the trick I can’t do. Not only was the reply a big no, I received an essay long response about how it’s my fault since I probably am not putting in alot of effort during the classes. I was also told Im making myself a victim by telling her was has been going wrong during her classes that I was present in since I felt that I didnt get the help and guidence I needed.

Keep in mind I never once called her a bad instructor; I did however point out that she didnt focus on the students that already knew most of the tricks. She took that as an offence, I assume.

That pissed me off so much that I chose not to reply after that. Nothing I say would make a difference at that point.

So, I will probably start looking for a new studio which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Time for breakfast

I’ll talk to you later!

Have an awesome day, my sweetheart 🙂




Weeks passing by

Hi baby!

How has the week been for you? I do hope it has been kind. For me? It has been fair. I do however worry that I might be catching a cold again.

Im working double shifts to day, first at Cellip and then at The Clarion, so 14 hours ish. The more I work late hours the more I miss Korea and working at Hooters. Being the unlucky fuck that I am, all my photos of me at hooters disappeared with my phone that got stolen back in 2016 :/ I didn’t even think to upload the photos on any of my SNS accounts or to simply save them om my computer. Well well… :/

I officially topped my PR in regular Deadlifts with 72 KG. Therefore, I am now deadlifting above my own weight. It really is time to invest in a new liftingbelt, isn’t it? ^^

Well, if you’re in Stockholm I need to warm you, it’s -11°C right now. If you live in a place much colder than that, please be careful. Wear an extra layer of clothes and drick lots of hot liquids 🙂



Monday. Again.

Hi baby!

Its monday and that means work. It amazing how such a reoccurring event can fill you with such hate. Even though I’m used to the inevitable, I still go “ugh it’s monday tomorrow” every sunday as if that might change haha😂

Have you seen Shape of Water yet? Im gonna go see it on wednesday with my mama and babysis. We were planing on watching it during next weekend for mama’s birthday but the movie theatre in Sweden, SF bio, made a shitty deal with resulted in the movie only being shown for 2 weeks here. So wednesday it is. Im hoping it’s worth the international hype it’s gotten seeing as it has 13 Oscars nominations and all^^

Oh, and I got my period yesterday so my uterus feels like a warzone. Pain is a heavy understatement hahahh^^

Im on my way to work but I’ll check in again later^^



Small changes

Hi baby!

How was your weekend? I made sure to rest off the cold I had as good as possible. I alsoooo went to see The Greatest Showman at the theatre. If you haven’t seen it yet: please do. It was magical. It definitely was a breath of fresh air amongst the sea of sci-fi and high tech looking movies that are currently flooding the theatres.

The magic badass Zendaya and wonderful Zac Efron created was awe-inspiring. Words to describe how incredible Hugh Jackan was, are not even possible to find.

As an individual grown up belittled and bullied for not looking like the rest in my classmates and on the street, having been abused for being darker, having brown eyes and more hair on my body, I felt so out of the ordinarily proud to be different at that very moment.

I was even made fun of for my name. Haha people are assholes.

Seeing strong and uniquely beautiful people standing together and creating such incredibly inspiring songs makes me so damn proud.

I spent the better part of my life shamed for who I am and for what I look like and to sit there in the theatre and hear This Is Me by Keala Settle gave me goosebumps. Anyone can enjoy that song but the ones who know about the pain Im talking about will FEEL that song on a whole different level.

Therefore, if you haven’t seen it, please do. 🙂

Tomorrow Im gonna try to work at a restaurant between 19-22.30. If they like my performance and I feel comfortable, Im gonna pick up some extra shifts there.

I wanna be able to get rid of one of the two loans I currently have so that I can start studying.

It’s gonna be okay, it has to. I’ll make it happen~~



Almost February

Hi baby!

Can you believe it’s almost February? I mean holy shit haha!

Have you made any vacation plans for the summer yet? Something exciting or maybe just somewhere to relax?

Last year I did like I always do, I did the honourable thing and only took a minimum amount of vacation days while everyone else took freaking 5 weeks. So I said fuck it and requested 4 weeks (I want to save 5 days for later incase I need them). The problem is that vacation days are usually determined around March-april but the closer you get to the summer months, the more expensive it gets. So, i requested mine to be determined within the month. Hopefully they’ll let me have the days I wanted so that I can book my flight and all that as soon as possible.

In addition to that, I still have 5 days saved from last year. If I can, and I end up saving enough money for it, Im gonna try to visit korea for a week in March, but we’ll se about that later.

It’s really cold today over here. If it’s cold over there, do make sure to dress warmly. I dont want you to get sick or to catch a cold.



Our shit arrives tomorrow 

Hi baby!

Yupp, the furniture finally arrives tomorrow! 

How was your weekend? Mine was chill; I babysat my niece^^

I think it’s time to get a haircut, what do you think?

I mean, it’s lovely and very nice to play with my it often gets in the way is taking up way too much time to care for. My hair growa pretty quick so Im not particularly attached to it ^^

I’ll make sure to take photos tomorrow to show you my new home. 



Moving out in and in

Hi baby!

I have been away for a few weeks, I know. I’m sorry! In my defence, I was moving ^^.

We have now moved out of the apartment and have now moved into the apartment we bought. Knowing that I now own a 4 room apartment in Stockholm without having it handed to me on a silver platter makes me very proud. We all know that one person that posts pictures of the keys to their new apartment which was bought to them by their parents and served on a silver platter. We ALL know that person and the all famous “Finally got the keys to my apartment. Feeling blessed!” SNS post haha. And we all know how full of shit those people are.
This apartment wasn’t handed to me, it wasn’t bought for me and it certainly had nothing to do with luck or being blessed. This apartment was bought with hard work and a shit ton of stress and planning. Never underestimate your hard work. Fuck that!



That’s right. Even though buying an apartment wasn’t a part of my plans for my future, I am very proud to be a 23 years old and be the youngest owner of a home in my entire family. It probably pisses off some people to know that I accomplished that without being married and without having a man in my life to do all that for me. At this point, I even think my dad and my family thinks I hate men, won’t marry and  probably worship the devil. And no, I don’t hate men, I don’t hate the idea of marriage and I don’t pray to Satan. I just value building up my own life and growing up as a person before a relationship and having kids. That will probably come in the future I bet, I just don’t base my entire existence on it.

The apartment was a mess like I told you earlier so we got it renovated. It looks a lot better now but I haven’t had the time to take some “after” pictures yet so I can’t show it to you yet. I’ll make sure to take some photos and post them here so you can see it all for yourself. ^^ We didn’t redo EVERYTHING because that would be too expensive but we got new floors in one of the bedrooms, the hallway and had ALL the walls and ceilings repainted.

Me and my mom scrubbed the entire kitchen with chlorine to get all the dirt, fat and dust off and because it took us hours to make it decently clean, our fingertips were burning for the next 3 days. So, in order to avoid the same results, I hired a cleaning company to come on thursday next week to clean the house form all the nastiness. I’m expecting the entire apartment to smell like a swimmingpool area haha!

Seeing how dirty and nasty the apartment is at the moment ( and it was worse before)  I really do wonder how the family that sold it lived here like that. Did no one care to get rid of the dust, the fat stains on the doors and shelves or to simply vacuum?

What else? Oh, the apartment is almost completely empty at the moment too. We have ordered new furniture including new kitchen table and chairs, a new couch, a new bed and new wardrobes for mom and my baby sister. We even ordered new carpets and TV stands. You’re probably thinking “why the hell waste all that money on the stuff” so let me tell you why:  During the time that we lived in the previous apartment, we were forced to ONLY use the owners furniture upon his demand. So we pretty much HAD to buy new stuff. Apart from that, because we lived three people in a 1 bedroom apartment, I didn’t have any place to put a bed and therefore; didn’t have one. I slept on two mattresses stacked up on each other which was fine by me. However, because we now have a home big enough for everyone to have their own bedroom, I thought it was time for me to have a real bed; and by real bed I mean one with a headboard and shit! I’ve never had a bed with a headboard before mainly because I didn’t like them but also because I thought they were pointless and took up too much space. My room is decently big now so I figured it would be cool to have one.  All the furniture will be delivered on the 20th and I’m hella excited to build some Ikea furniture ahahah! Do you enjoy building too, baby? I think it’s fun!

This whole moving thing has been very stressful and tiring but also very educational; I did some grown up stuff that I never thought I had do to; such as buying floors, changing fuse plug thingys for the electricity and buy a dishwasher and a stove. WHO BUYS A DAMN STOVE? Also, I had NO IDEA about how many different versions there were; Touch screen, non touch screen, 400 V version, 220-240 V version, different materials of the actual stove, stainless steel or in white etc. I mean holy shit! Also, I had no idea there were different decibel ranges you had to look for when buying a dishwasher… like, it’s a dishwasher?! Apparently anything above 46 db is gonna be too loud if it’s on while you’re sleeping. I mean, who knew that was so important? Apart from this madness, if the stove’s touch sensor breaks/stops working after the warranty has passed, YOU PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO BUY A NEW FUCKING STOVE BECAUSE IT MOST PROBABLY WON’T BE FIXABLE? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Therefore, I got a non-touch stove and a dishwasher with a 42-44 db range and this is probably the most grown up thing I have ever done so far besides changing fuses.

Moving on, How was your halloween??
I didn’t do much but the amusement park in Stockholm called Gröna Lund had a halloween themed week with 4 new haunted houses besides the one that’s always there.

If you live in Stockholm, did you go? I want with Nessie.
It wasn’t scary much but it was fun nonetheless. The zombie zone and the Olustiga Huset with all the killer clowns was really well made. Also, don’t take my word for it, I have no soul and find horror movies amusing so it wasn’t probably scary to people who has souls and are…human. They claimed that there was gonna be zombies and stuff walking around freely around the park but that did happen which was kind of disappointing.

That’s pretty much it, I think.

Oh, did you hear that BTS is gonna perform on the AMA’s? I AM SO FUCING PROUD. Having been a fan since their debut, I am so fucking proud and hope they perform FIRE to show how a performance is REALLY done.!! ❤

If you have been living under a rock, click Here to watch the music video.

Also, have you seen Monsta X’s comeback music video yet? The song is called Dramarama is it pretty fucking good!! Click Here to see it!

I’ll post more soon. Be careful, don’t catch a cold and don’t forget that this soulless devil is always here for you if you need it.







Having a hard time

Hi baby!

Im having a really hard time finding the time and motivation to hit the gym. My gym days have decreased from the 6 day to 3 days a week due to the pre-moving stuff that needs to be done. 

Im still trying though. Look at what I nailed at the pole class yesterday~

My waist and legs hurt but it was hella fine. Check out my insta for the other photo:


We have showed the new apartment to a total of 3 different building companies: the first one gave the price 121k SEK which is a shit ton of money. The second one gave the price 40k SEK if we chose to pay in cash and 60K SEK if we wanted it legit with papers… he sounded hella fake to be honest. He wasnt very reassuring like the other two. The third one has not given me a price yet so Im still waiting. I just dont wanna have to give all my savings just to paint the walls.  

We’ll see I guess.