Our shit arrives tomorrow 

Hi baby!

Yupp, the furniture finally arrives tomorrow! 

How was your weekend? Mine was chill; I babysat my niece^^

I think it’s time to get a haircut, what do you think?

I mean, it’s lovely and very nice to play with my it often gets in the way is taking up way too much time to care for. My hair growa pretty quick so Im not particularly attached to it ^^

I’ll make sure to take photos tomorrow to show you my new home. 




Moving out in and in

Hi baby!

I have been away for a few weeks, I know. I’m sorry! In my defence, I was moving ^^.

We have now moved out of the apartment and have now moved into the apartment we bought. Knowing that I now own a 4 room apartment in Stockholm without having it handed to me on a silver platter makes me very proud. We all know that one person that posts pictures of the keys to their new apartment which was bought to them by their parents and served on a silver platter. We ALL know that person and the all famous “Finally got the keys to my apartment. Feeling blessed!” SNS post haha. And we all know how full of shit those people are.
This apartment wasn’t handed to me, it wasn’t bought for me and it certainly had nothing to do with luck or being blessed. This apartment was bought with hard work and a shit ton of stress and planning. Never underestimate your hard work. Fuck that!



That’s right. Even though buying an apartment wasn’t a part of my plans for my future, I am very proud to be a 23 years old and be the youngest owner of a home in my entire family. It probably pisses off some people to know that I accomplished that without being married and without having a man in my life to do all that for me. At this point, I even think my dad and my family thinks I hate men, won’t marry and  probably worship the devil. And no, I don’t hate men, I don’t hate the idea of marriage and I don’t pray to Satan. I just value building up my own life and growing up as a person before a relationship and having kids. That will probably come in the future I bet, I just don’t base my entire existence on it.

The apartment was a mess like I told you earlier so we got it renovated. It looks a lot better now but I haven’t had the time to take some “after” pictures yet so I can’t show it to you yet. I’ll make sure to take some photos and post them here so you can see it all for yourself. ^^ We didn’t redo EVERYTHING because that would be too expensive but we got new floors in one of the bedrooms, the hallway and had ALL the walls and ceilings repainted.

Me and my mom scrubbed the entire kitchen with chlorine to get all the dirt, fat and dust off and because it took us hours to make it decently clean, our fingertips were burning for the next 3 days. So, in order to avoid the same results, I hired a cleaning company to come on thursday next week to clean the house form all the nastiness. I’m expecting the entire apartment to smell like a swimmingpool area haha!

Seeing how dirty and nasty the apartment is at the moment ( and it was worse before)  I really do wonder how the family that sold it lived here like that. Did no one care to get rid of the dust, the fat stains on the doors and shelves or to simply vacuum?

What else? Oh, the apartment is almost completely empty at the moment too. We have ordered new furniture including new kitchen table and chairs, a new couch, a new bed and new wardrobes for mom and my baby sister. We even ordered new carpets and TV stands. You’re probably thinking “why the hell waste all that money on the stuff” so let me tell you why:  During the time that we lived in the previous apartment, we were forced to ONLY use the owners furniture upon his demand. So we pretty much HAD to buy new stuff. Apart from that, because we lived three people in a 1 bedroom apartment, I didn’t have any place to put a bed and therefore; didn’t have one. I slept on two mattresses stacked up on each other which was fine by me. However, because we now have a home big enough for everyone to have their own bedroom, I thought it was time for me to have a real bed; and by real bed I mean one with a headboard and shit! I’ve never had a bed with a headboard before mainly because I didn’t like them but also because I thought they were pointless and took up too much space. My room is decently big now so I figured it would be cool to have one.  All the furniture will be delivered on the 20th and I’m hella excited to build some Ikea furniture ahahah! Do you enjoy building too, baby? I think it’s fun!

This whole moving thing has been very stressful and tiring but also very educational; I did some grown up stuff that I never thought I had do to; such as buying floors, changing fuse plug thingys for the electricity and buy a dishwasher and a stove. WHO BUYS A DAMN STOVE? Also, I had NO IDEA about how many different versions there were; Touch screen, non touch screen, 400 V version, 220-240 V version, different materials of the actual stove, stainless steel or in white etc. I mean holy shit! Also, I had no idea there were different decibel ranges you had to look for when buying a dishwasher… like, it’s a dishwasher?! Apparently anything above 46 db is gonna be too loud if it’s on while you’re sleeping. I mean, who knew that was so important? Apart from this madness, if the stove’s touch sensor breaks/stops working after the warranty has passed, YOU PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO BUY A NEW FUCKING STOVE BECAUSE IT MOST PROBABLY WON’T BE FIXABLE? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Therefore, I got a non-touch stove and a dishwasher with a 42-44 db range and this is probably the most grown up thing I have ever done so far besides changing fuses.

Moving on, How was your halloween??
I didn’t do much but the amusement park in Stockholm called Gröna Lund had a halloween themed week with 4 new haunted houses besides the one that’s always there.

If you live in Stockholm, did you go? I want with Nessie.
It wasn’t scary much but it was fun nonetheless. The zombie zone and the Olustiga Huset with all the killer clowns was really well made. Also, don’t take my word for it, I have no soul and find horror movies amusing so it wasn’t probably scary to people who has souls and are…human. They claimed that there was gonna be zombies and stuff walking around freely around the park but that did happen which was kind of disappointing.

That’s pretty much it, I think.

Oh, did you hear that BTS is gonna perform on the AMA’s? I AM SO FUCING PROUD. Having been a fan since their debut, I am so fucking proud and hope they perform FIRE to show how a performance is REALLY done.!! ❤

If you have been living under a rock, click Here to watch the music video.

Also, have you seen Monsta X’s comeback music video yet? The song is called Dramarama is it pretty fucking good!! Click Here to see it!

I’ll post more soon. Be careful, don’t catch a cold and don’t forget that this soulless devil is always here for you if you need it.







Having a hard time

Hi baby!

Im having a really hard time finding the time and motivation to hit the gym. My gym days have decreased from the 6 day to 3 days a week due to the pre-moving stuff that needs to be done. 

Im still trying though. Look at what I nailed at the pole class yesterday~

My waist and legs hurt but it was hella fine. Check out my insta for the other photo:


We have showed the new apartment to a total of 3 different building companies: the first one gave the price 121k SEK which is a shit ton of money. The second one gave the price 40k SEK if we chose to pay in cash and 60K SEK if we wanted it legit with papers… he sounded hella fake to be honest. He wasnt very reassuring like the other two. The third one has not given me a price yet so Im still waiting. I just dont wanna have to give all my savings just to paint the walls.  

We’ll see I guess. 



Back from a small haitus

Hi baby!

I’m very sorry for being away, I truly am. Now, I know I keep saying that yet I disappear again and again. As much as I can’t avoid being away from a time to time, I promise to always come back. Just like I’m doing now.

So…What has happened?

I realised it has  officially been a year since I start my job at Cellip, which also means it has been a year since I got my surgery to have my gallbladder removed due to the stones.

Remember me telling you that I booked tickets to Korea to join my friends there for a few weeks? Well, I have to prioritise other things so I canceled my ticket and my hotel reservation. Apart from the fact that I had to stay due to some reasons, travelling there with the friends that invited me along didn’t seem to tempting after all. Not only was I left to stay at a separate place, when I asked to make sure I wouldn’t be left out during the trip, I received the answer “We’ll hang out together for sure but you should be prepared you might not be able to hang out with us that much since we have our own plans as well”. Well it that’s the case I might as well go there when it fits my schedule better and also the schedule of my friends who live there. So, I said “Fuck it”. I ain’t about to travel all the way to the one country where I feel like at home only to be left alone and fucking hate the trip. Nah uh, fuck that.

I refuse to end up in that situation.

On a  different note, I found an apartment and signed a contract ish 2 weeks ago. I have my loan accepted by the bank and everything it falling into it’s pieces so far. The apartment isn’t really in a fancy place but it has 2 bedrooms, two bathrooms, a big kitchen and a large balcony. It looks like shit at the moment and it officially named “The Ebola Apartment”. I shall therefore not share any photos of it until it is renovated and I can do a before and after shit. The biggest dilemma at the moment is the fact that I want an industrial design to it but my mom and my baby sis wants a simple and classes white/cream colours everywhere kind of design which is fucking boring and flat. I want the apartment to have some personality, after all. I want you to feel powerful and chic. That’s not gonna happen with basic colours and plain designs. I’m not saying white isn’t chic or anything, it’s a very elegant color, But I would like it to have some personality and attitude.

Even though I know buying this apartment was something that had to happen, it burdens me heavily. I have been very stressed because of it, have meetings with the sellers, signing a bunch of stuff, meeting the bank and all that. I have been feeling very anxious lately due to the fact that I don’t wanna make a mistake. It’s a lot of money on stake and I don’t wanna mess up…
It has gotten to a point where I have lost my desire to try harder to dance and the stress has made me loose a lot of hair… :/
Also, committing to an actual apartment with responsibilities and loans and large amounts of money being bounced around, I feel further away from my possibility of moving to Korea where I really do feel like home. Sounds silly, I know, but that’s what it is. I have huge commitments now so I can’t start studying next year either… I know that this isn’t the end. I know I have a lot to achieve. And I damn sure know I have achieved something very few in my family and culture have been able to to at my age. I know… but it still burdens me very much….

I am crying as I am typing this and it really does make me realise how I wish I was selfish and didn’t care about shielding my family like some people. We had to move and we were being kicked out. I had to to something but it almost feels like protecting my family results in me leaving me dreams, goals and wishes vulnerable.

You just wait and see, I’m gonna make the ebola apartment fucking fly and turn it into the Beyonce of all apartments, sell it, buy something smaller and closer to the city. Then, I’m gonna rent it out and focus on my goals. Nothing has managed breaking me up until this day, and this won’t either. The weight the burdens me is heavy, it really is, but I know I can carry it. I might fall for a moment, I might tear up but I keep going.

So no matter what, keep going. Sometimes you have to take a different route than the one you had planned to take, but you’ll reach your destination eventually. As long as you don’t take your eyes off of your goals, no bump or obstacle will be able to hold you back.
Sometimes we fall, sometimes we struggle. We worry, we cry, we loose. And that’s okay.


“When life knocks us down, we can choose whether or not to get back up” – Jackie Chan.





New tatt

Hi baby!

I got a New tattoo done last Friday. It was painful but a more so powerful moment for me. 

2.5 years of waiting and I now have lucifer on my neck, reminding me to never fall for his games. And to never let others mistake me for anything but what I am; brutal and cruel yet also fair and loyal.

[Never forget the evil that lies within you rather than the one waiting for you below your feet. Never forget it so that you may never follow it’s wishes]

And here is the finished work.

It took a total of 5 hours and lots of grunting and shaking in pain. I did not cry and fought through it. Big thanks to Kevin from Ant Tattoo who made it so fucking dope. You can find him on insta at @kewinoart 

I definitely recommend that you check that place out; they are one of the most crazy and welcoming tattoo artists I have ever met. 



Computer still not cooperating

Hi baby!

How are you? My computer is still not cooperating with me -.-

The weather is shitty but I like it, how is it over there? I’m trying to keep my energy up so I can practice for those tests I mentioned earlier but they really are boring. Aa if that wasnt enough, I had some intense back pain these last couple of days so I stayed away from the gym until I subdued. I.REALLY.WANNA.GO.TO.THE.GYM.

On a different note, I’m wearing the shirt Nessie got me from Turkey

It says “Females are strong as well”


Apparently we have to move out asap because the guy who rented it to us wants it back… so no more stalling; we need to find a place that we are happy with and buy it. -.-

Im gonna go watch The Dark Tower today, btw. Have you seen it yet? I cant wait! Idris Elba😍


Blood donation

Hi baby!

I donated blood for the second time ever today~

I am very proud of myself for doing it and will keeo doing so until I am too old to. In Sweden, Only 2% of the population donated blood :/

If you are physically able to and want to make a small difference, please donate blood; it could save someones life.
I ordered a bunch of korean skincare masks and a new bottle of setting spray and they arrived today

If you have oily skin, I highly recommended the Etude House Skin Note Pore Tightening mask. I have never tried the innisfree ones so I cant say much about them yet. 

Ps. I order all of my skincare from ebay: same product, no shioping fee~~^^