Pre vacay todo-lists

Hi baby!

How was your day? Tomorrow is midsummer’s day in Sweden so I’m off work. Our teamleader for our department is on vacation so I have taken her place until she comes back. 

Im on my way home now, finally.

The ramazan celebrations begin on Sunday so I have to remember to repaint my nails, dress up and go visit the elders. Mom is gonna make lasagne so Im hella excited. I only eat my mom’s lasagne because no one else can even get close to hers. 

On another note, summer vacation is around the corner and I still haven’t bought everything I need…like sunscreen, a proper bikini set and an everyday bag. Because I always use my gym back, I don’t own regular every day bags for shit that doesn’t involve the gym. 😀 

Oh and I forgot to tell you yesterday; I can donate blood in August again so I can do my lucifer tattoo and my wonderwoman tattoo after that. 

Do you enjoy korean dramas? I just finished watching She Was Pretty from 2015 and oh my god was is not adorable and so so sweet. And ofcorse, the male lead actor had to be handsome to the point of no return.^^

You should watch it if you haven’t, sweetie ~~!

Oh and have you checked out Monsta X’s comeback song, shine forever? It was such a good song and the music video was even more so. I dont understand why they don’t distribute the lyrics more fairly but.. oh well.

Then again, BTS’ lyrics are almost never fairly distributed either, which is odd seeing as they ALL have powerful and beautiful voices.. :/




This week flew by quickly

Hi, my beautiful love. How was your day? Have you seen a good movie lately? I hope it made you smile in that adorable way. Maybe it even made you chuckle in that cute way that I adore so much?

You don’t laugh a lot lately; not from your heart at least. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.

Don’t let them kill your light, love. We can’t always be perky and happy but never let them kill your light. That light is what makes you,you. ❤

At today’s poledancing class I think I pulled a muscle or placed my hand wrongly because the nerves on the back of my right hand are aching. I don’t know why but It’ll heal soon enough.
You should have seen me today, honey. I was awesome! I nailed that double climb so hard!! I mean I failed a few times in the beginning but it went well after that. !! 😀



That was today’s outfit during class for the warm up before the tights came off and the hotpants took it’s place^^


My dad’s wife called today: She’s super keen on going on a vacation all together next year summer to some fancy hotel and whatever but I don’t want to. She seems to repeatedly ignore my nays.

I don’t know why she’s so keen on next year’s trip but I really don’t wanna spend another summer with my dad and his wife again. I went last time because they wouldn’t shut up about it and I regretted the whole trip from start to finish. Sure, it’s fun to see all the people and cousins but I can’t stand the boredom of being stuck there with them.


If I’m gonna take vacation days for work and enjoy my summer it’s gonna be with people that I actually enjoy hanging out with. Plus, I wanna go to some place I actually wanna visit. I can visit Turkey for 2 or 3 days but other than that; I wanna also have fun.


Hahah you’re probably gonna ask me what my opinion is on boys at the moment since I told you about how much I love christmas dates last year.. ^^

I honestly have yet to meet a man that actually behaves and acts like a grownup so until then, I’m not even thinking about them.

Maybe my family was right; I am the devil. I have no soul.

Not that it bothers me xD

But I do love christmas dates far too much than I care to admit. Walking around town with a hot cup of coffee each in our hands, just breathing in the cold winter smell and the lovely sent of out coffees. I love the coffee shop dates during the winter, just talking and sharing thoughts.
I even love staying in during the winter. Laying in bed, resting my head on my partner’s chest, just listening to his heart beat and enjoying each others company.

“Men” nowadays are so caught up in screwing in bitches, drinking vodka like it’s water and very loud music on a daily basis so… No thank you.

Even though I love tequila and dancing until I’m sweaty under strobe lights pressed up against I don’t know who, I also enjoy calm evenings and quality time… which seems to be a very foreign concept to the male population of my pathetic generation.




Anyways, I finally bought my new winter shoes since my last ones are never to be found again (I bet you she threw them away).


I bought these. I think the exact name is Timberland’s Women  6 inches Premium Boots but I could be wrong.. 🙂


I like them a lot, I’ve always wanted to own Timbs and they look adorable with skirts so that’s a bonus.


Well, I’m off to the other blog. I’m working on a new scenario.






Photoshoot december 2014

Here are some old photos I found of some of my old photo shoots from December 2014.

IMG_8786 IMG_8823

IMG_8905 IMG_8899


IMG_8909 IMG_8909 (1)


Fall 2014:

IMG_3906 IMG_3918

IMG_8689 IMG_8679

December 2014:

IMG_9104 ögaaaa

All credit goes to the photographer.

You can find here instagram here:


Another photoshoot will be on it’s way, it’s sheduled to happen on wednesday and a new dance video is due on friday so, stay tuned,baby 🙂

I’m so freaking excited 😀



i get it- you’re not making me change my mind though

Hi sweetie 🙂

How are you? I’m stuck home and am feeling pretty wrecked but I always have you to talk to , right?

Yupp, the title tells on itself, doesn’t it? Well let me evaluate.

Last sunday me and my mom went to surprise my brother for his birthday in the morning. We go, we knock on his door and he get’s surprised. Haha hihi hoho.
It’s all chat chitting until my brother has to stat commenting on my plans of going to Canada.

Yeah sure, tell me your opinion; I mean of corse, you’re my brother, go ahead. I told you “I understand, I’ll think about it”.

That sentence all by itself should clearly help us leave the topic and move the fuck on but no. I ended up listening to my brother preach about my wrong choice of leaving for 2 hours. 2 HOURS. Are you kidding me?.

Okay so here it is. My brother thinks I am making a mistake by flying to Canada because I should stay in Sweden, get myself an apartment, find a different job and settle down here so we can hang out more, it’ll be easier to see each other and whatnot. I’d give him credit for that argument if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve only seen you twice in these past 6 weeks.

What you talking about; Hanging out more? -.- What the..

My reply was simple: I can do that when I’m older, I would like to explore and actually see the world why I’m young and have the desire to. Plus, Sweden is a boring country. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s boring for someone who’s spent the last year in the flames of Seoul.

It’s very simply math: I have a reason to leave. I don’t have a reason to stay.

His reply: You haven’t seen all parts of Sweden yet. Try here first and then you can travel if you don’t like it.

I raised my right eyebrow and looked him straight in the eye: You turned 37 today, you have been all around Sweden and Sweden only: You don’t seem like you’re having the time of your life.

He legit told me ” yeah I know but maybe you will”.

That. Is. Legit. The. Worst. Argument. Ever.

I am born and raised in this Country, Sweden will always be my Home but come on: Why is it okay for everyone but me to explore and do what no one, NO ONE, in our family has done?

I’m pushing the boundaries and have managed to escape that awful box that everyone seems so incapable of leaving, Why would you wanna put me back in there?

I’m 21 years old. Everyone has tried so hard to change my mind whenever I defy their wishes. Have you not learned that I will do and achieve whatever I set my mind into?

Has anyone ever managed changing my mind? No. So please stop trying.

Fast forward to like 8 hours later; I dropped a 8 kg dumbbell on my thigh. I’m about to piss myself out of anger. I never seem to fucking learn to be careful.

Im gonna take my painkillers now.

Goodnight darling. I’ll talk to ya soon. ❤



spending the morning at the hospital

Hi baby. How are you?

I just got home from the hospital. No no, calm you tits; I’m fine but I took Selma there. she needed to go the hospital so I texted me teacher, saying I can’t come to school today, and took Selma to the emergency centre at the hospital across the street.  I just got home after we finally got the medication she needed. She’s resting now after having taking her first set of medication and I’m about to order home delivery to get us some turkish soup for her throat.


I’m super tired; I fell asleep 4 am and woke up to help Selma around 9 am I think.. I don’t remember.

I hate my night terrors, I really do.

I miss peaceful sleep.

I gotta get a boyfriend to make him sleep next to me so I can sleep peacefully. hahahaahhaha Evil Ozzy xD

No no, I’m fine like this.^^

My school has a talent show and the audition is on Monday. The texted me that now. NOW! that leaves me with 3 days. 3 DAYS.

I can make it. I know I can !