Hi baby!

Im so sorry for my absence being this long. I have honestly been meaning to update you for a while now but something always got in the way.

I did mean to update you yesterday but once I sat down infront of my computer I realised how exhausted I was. Therefore, Im updating you now instead.

Not alot of changes has happened; I’m still working two jobs and all that.

We celebrated my sister’s birthday yesterday which turned out pretty okay. I dont know we celebrated it a month ahead since her birthday is in june but my dads wife was the one to pick the date and not alot of her actions make sense so…

Anyways, I made the cupcakes for the party

We had a pink and white theme so I made the frosting pink and the sugar roses white^^

Moving on, I have been feeling quite stuck in my pole fitness development; everything but one trick is mastered and so I emailed the studio and asked for advice, wondering if it is possible to move up a level but also take the focus classes that focuses on the trick I can’t do. Not only was the reply a big no, I received an essay long response about how it’s my fault since I probably am not putting in alot of effort during the classes. I was also told Im making myself a victim by telling her was has been going wrong during her classes that I was present in since I felt that I didnt get the help and guidence I needed.

Keep in mind I never once called her a bad instructor; I did however point out that she didnt focus on the students that already knew most of the tricks. She took that as an offence, I assume.

That pissed me off so much that I chose not to reply after that. Nothing I say would make a difference at that point.

So, I will probably start looking for a new studio which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Time for breakfast

I’ll talk to you later!

Have an awesome day, my sweetheart 🙂




Moving out in and in

Hi baby!

I have been away for a few weeks, I know. I’m sorry! In my defence, I was moving ^^.

We have now moved out of the apartment and have now moved into the apartment we bought. Knowing that I now own a 4 room apartment in Stockholm without having it handed to me on a silver platter makes me very proud. We all know that one person that posts pictures of the keys to their new apartment which was bought to them by their parents and served on a silver platter. We ALL know that person and the all famous “Finally got the keys to my apartment. Feeling blessed!” SNS post haha. And we all know how full of shit those people are.
This apartment wasn’t handed to me, it wasn’t bought for me and it certainly had nothing to do with luck or being blessed. This apartment was bought with hard work and a shit ton of stress and planning. Never underestimate your hard work. Fuck that!



That’s right. Even though buying an apartment wasn’t a part of my plans for my future, I am very proud to be a 23 years old and be the youngest owner of a home in my entire family. It probably pisses off some people to know that I accomplished that without being married and without having a man in my life to do all that for me. At this point, I even think my dad and my family thinks I hate men, won’t marry and  probably worship the devil. And no, I don’t hate men, I don’t hate the idea of marriage and I don’t pray to Satan. I just value building up my own life and growing up as a person before a relationship and having kids. That will probably come in the future I bet, I just don’t base my entire existence on it.

The apartment was a mess like I told you earlier so we got it renovated. It looks a lot better now but I haven’t had the time to take some “after” pictures yet so I can’t show it to you yet. I’ll make sure to take some photos and post them here so you can see it all for yourself. ^^ We didn’t redo EVERYTHING because that would be too expensive but we got new floors in one of the bedrooms, the hallway and had ALL the walls and ceilings repainted.

Me and my mom scrubbed the entire kitchen with chlorine to get all the dirt, fat and dust off and because it took us hours to make it decently clean, our fingertips were burning for the next 3 days. So, in order to avoid the same results, I hired a cleaning company to come on thursday next week to clean the house form all the nastiness. I’m expecting the entire apartment to smell like a swimmingpool area haha!

Seeing how dirty and nasty the apartment is at the moment ( and it was worse before)  I really do wonder how the family that sold it lived here like that. Did no one care to get rid of the dust, the fat stains on the doors and shelves or to simply vacuum?

What else? Oh, the apartment is almost completely empty at the moment too. We have ordered new furniture including new kitchen table and chairs, a new couch, a new bed and new wardrobes for mom and my baby sister. We even ordered new carpets and TV stands. You’re probably thinking “why the hell waste all that money on the stuff” so let me tell you why:  During the time that we lived in the previous apartment, we were forced to ONLY use the owners furniture upon his demand. So we pretty much HAD to buy new stuff. Apart from that, because we lived three people in a 1 bedroom apartment, I didn’t have any place to put a bed and therefore; didn’t have one. I slept on two mattresses stacked up on each other which was fine by me. However, because we now have a home big enough for everyone to have their own bedroom, I thought it was time for me to have a real bed; and by real bed I mean one with a headboard and shit! I’ve never had a bed with a headboard before mainly because I didn’t like them but also because I thought they were pointless and took up too much space. My room is decently big now so I figured it would be cool to have one.  All the furniture will be delivered on the 20th and I’m hella excited to build some Ikea furniture ahahah! Do you enjoy building too, baby? I think it’s fun!

This whole moving thing has been very stressful and tiring but also very educational; I did some grown up stuff that I never thought I had do to; such as buying floors, changing fuse plug thingys for the electricity and buy a dishwasher and a stove. WHO BUYS A DAMN STOVE? Also, I had NO IDEA about how many different versions there were; Touch screen, non touch screen, 400 V version, 220-240 V version, different materials of the actual stove, stainless steel or in white etc. I mean holy shit! Also, I had no idea there were different decibel ranges you had to look for when buying a dishwasher… like, it’s a dishwasher?! Apparently anything above 46 db is gonna be too loud if it’s on while you’re sleeping. I mean, who knew that was so important? Apart from this madness, if the stove’s touch sensor breaks/stops working after the warranty has passed, YOU PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO BUY A NEW FUCKING STOVE BECAUSE IT MOST PROBABLY WON’T BE FIXABLE? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Therefore, I got a non-touch stove and a dishwasher with a 42-44 db range and this is probably the most grown up thing I have ever done so far besides changing fuses.

Moving on, How was your halloween??
I didn’t do much but the amusement park in Stockholm called Gröna Lund had a halloween themed week with 4 new haunted houses besides the one that’s always there.

If you live in Stockholm, did you go? I want with Nessie.
It wasn’t scary much but it was fun nonetheless. The zombie zone and the Olustiga Huset with all the killer clowns was really well made. Also, don’t take my word for it, I have no soul and find horror movies amusing so it wasn’t probably scary to people who has souls and are…human. They claimed that there was gonna be zombies and stuff walking around freely around the park but that did happen which was kind of disappointing.

That’s pretty much it, I think.

Oh, did you hear that BTS is gonna perform on the AMA’s? I AM SO FUCING PROUD. Having been a fan since their debut, I am so fucking proud and hope they perform FIRE to show how a performance is REALLY done.!! ❤

If you have been living under a rock, click Here to watch the music video.

Also, have you seen Monsta X’s comeback music video yet? The song is called Dramarama is it pretty fucking good!! Click Here to see it!

I’ll post more soon. Be careful, don’t catch a cold and don’t forget that this soulless devil is always here for you if you need it.







Pre vacay todo-lists

Hi baby!

How was your day? Tomorrow is midsummer’s day in Sweden so I’m off work. Our teamleader for our department is on vacation so I have taken her place until she comes back. 

Im on my way home now, finally.

The ramazan celebrations begin on Sunday so I have to remember to repaint my nails, dress up and go visit the elders. Mom is gonna make lasagne so Im hella excited. I only eat my mom’s lasagne because no one else can even get close to hers. 

On another note, summer vacation is around the corner and I still haven’t bought everything I need…like sunscreen, a proper bikini set and an everyday bag. Because I always use my gym back, I don’t own regular every day bags for shit that doesn’t involve the gym. 😀 

Oh and I forgot to tell you yesterday; I can donate blood in August again so I can do my lucifer tattoo and my wonderwoman tattoo after that. 

Do you enjoy korean dramas? I just finished watching She Was Pretty from 2015 and oh my god was is not adorable and so so sweet. And ofcorse, the male lead actor had to be handsome to the point of no return.^^

You should watch it if you haven’t, sweetie ~~!

Oh and have you checked out Monsta X’s comeback song, shine forever? It was such a good song and the music video was even more so. I dont understand why they don’t distribute the lyrics more fairly but.. oh well.

Then again, BTS’ lyrics are almost never fairly distributed either, which is odd seeing as they ALL have powerful and beautiful voices.. :/



This week flew by quickly

Hi, my beautiful love. How was your day? Have you seen a good movie lately? I hope it made you smile in that adorable way. Maybe it even made you chuckle in that cute way that I adore so much?

You don’t laugh a lot lately; not from your heart at least. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.

Don’t let them kill your light, love. We can’t always be perky and happy but never let them kill your light. That light is what makes you,you. ❤

At today’s poledancing class I think I pulled a muscle or placed my hand wrongly because the nerves on the back of my right hand are aching. I don’t know why but It’ll heal soon enough.
You should have seen me today, honey. I was awesome! I nailed that double climb so hard!! I mean I failed a few times in the beginning but it went well after that. !! 😀



That was today’s outfit during class for the warm up before the tights came off and the hotpants took it’s place^^


My dad’s wife called today: She’s super keen on going on a vacation all together next year summer to some fancy hotel and whatever but I don’t want to. She seems to repeatedly ignore my nays.

I don’t know why she’s so keen on next year’s trip but I really don’t wanna spend another summer with my dad and his wife again. I went last time because they wouldn’t shut up about it and I regretted the whole trip from start to finish. Sure, it’s fun to see all the people and cousins but I can’t stand the boredom of being stuck there with them.


If I’m gonna take vacation days for work and enjoy my summer it’s gonna be with people that I actually enjoy hanging out with. Plus, I wanna go to some place I actually wanna visit. I can visit Turkey for 2 or 3 days but other than that; I wanna also have fun.


Hahah you’re probably gonna ask me what my opinion is on boys at the moment since I told you about how much I love christmas dates last year.. ^^

I honestly have yet to meet a man that actually behaves and acts like a grownup so until then, I’m not even thinking about them.

Maybe my family was right; I am the devil. I have no soul.

Not that it bothers me xD

But I do love christmas dates far too much than I care to admit. Walking around town with a hot cup of coffee each in our hands, just breathing in the cold winter smell and the lovely sent of out coffees. I love the coffee shop dates during the winter, just talking and sharing thoughts.
I even love staying in during the winter. Laying in bed, resting my head on my partner’s chest, just listening to his heart beat and enjoying each others company.

“Men” nowadays are so caught up in screwing in bitches, drinking vodka like it’s water and very loud music on a daily basis so… No thank you.

Even though I love tequila and dancing until I’m sweaty under strobe lights pressed up against I don’t know who, I also enjoy calm evenings and quality time… which seems to be a very foreign concept to the male population of my pathetic generation.




Anyways, I finally bought my new winter shoes since my last ones are never to be found again (I bet you she threw them away).


I bought these. I think the exact name is Timberland’s Women  6 inches Premium Boots but I could be wrong.. 🙂


I like them a lot, I’ve always wanted to own Timbs and they look adorable with skirts so that’s a bonus.


Well, I’m off to the other blog. I’m working on a new scenario.






Photoshoot december 2014

Here are some old photos I found of some of my old photo shoots from December 2014.

IMG_8786 IMG_8823

IMG_8905 IMG_8899


IMG_8909 IMG_8909 (1)


Fall 2014:

IMG_3906 IMG_3918

IMG_8689 IMG_8679

December 2014:

IMG_9104 ögaaaa

All credit goes to the photographer.

You can find here instagram here:


Another photoshoot will be on it’s way, it’s sheduled to happen on wednesday and a new dance video is due on friday so, stay tuned,baby 🙂

I’m so freaking excited 😀



i get it- you’re not making me change my mind though

Hi sweetie 🙂

How are you? I’m stuck home and am feeling pretty wrecked but I always have you to talk to , right?

Yupp, the title tells on itself, doesn’t it? Well let me evaluate.

Last sunday me and my mom went to surprise my brother for his birthday in the morning. We go, we knock on his door and he get’s surprised. Haha hihi hoho.
It’s all chat chitting until my brother has to stat commenting on my plans of going to Canada.

Yeah sure, tell me your opinion; I mean of corse, you’re my brother, go ahead. I told you “I understand, I’ll think about it”.

That sentence all by itself should clearly help us leave the topic and move the fuck on but no. I ended up listening to my brother preach about my wrong choice of leaving for 2 hours. 2 HOURS. Are you kidding me?.

Okay so here it is. My brother thinks I am making a mistake by flying to Canada because I should stay in Sweden, get myself an apartment, find a different job and settle down here so we can hang out more, it’ll be easier to see each other and whatnot. I’d give him credit for that argument if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve only seen you twice in these past 6 weeks.

What you talking about; Hanging out more? -.- What the..

My reply was simple: I can do that when I’m older, I would like to explore and actually see the world why I’m young and have the desire to. Plus, Sweden is a boring country. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s boring for someone who’s spent the last year in the flames of Seoul.

It’s very simply math: I have a reason to leave. I don’t have a reason to stay.

His reply: You haven’t seen all parts of Sweden yet. Try here first and then you can travel if you don’t like it.

I raised my right eyebrow and looked him straight in the eye: You turned 37 today, you have been all around Sweden and Sweden only: You don’t seem like you’re having the time of your life.

He legit told me ” yeah I know but maybe you will”.

That. Is. Legit. The. Worst. Argument. Ever.

I am born and raised in this Country, Sweden will always be my Home but come on: Why is it okay for everyone but me to explore and do what no one, NO ONE, in our family has done?

I’m pushing the boundaries and have managed to escape that awful box that everyone seems so incapable of leaving, Why would you wanna put me back in there?

I’m 21 years old. Everyone has tried so hard to change my mind whenever I defy their wishes. Have you not learned that I will do and achieve whatever I set my mind into?

Has anyone ever managed changing my mind? No. So please stop trying.

Fast forward to like 8 hours later; I dropped a 8 kg dumbbell on my thigh. I’m about to piss myself out of anger. I never seem to fucking learn to be careful.

Im gonna take my painkillers now.

Goodnight darling. I’ll talk to ya soon. ❤